The Hite Report

"Although we tend to think of sex as one set pattern, one group of activities (in essence, reproductive activity), there is no need to limit ourselves this way. There is no reason why physical intimacy with men, for example, should always consist of "foreplay" followed by intercourse and male orgasm; and there is no reason why intercourse must always be a part of heterosexual sex. Sex is intimate physical contact for pleasure, to share pleasure with another person (or just alone). You can have sex to orgasm, or not to orgasm, genital sex, or just physical intimacy --- whatever seems right to you. There is never any reason to think the "goal" must be intercourse, and to try to make what you feel fit into that context. There is no standard of sexual performance "out there", against which you must measure yourself; you aren't ruled by "hormones" or "biology". You are free to explore and discover your own sexuality, to learn or unlearn anything you want, and to make physical relations with other people, of either sex, anything you like."

The Ethical Slut

"Many people dream of living an open sexual life --- of having all the sex and love and friendship they want. Most never try, believing that such a life is impossible. Of those who try, many give up, finding the challenges insurmountable --- or at least too hard for them. A few persist, and discover that being openly sexual and intimate with many people is not only possible, but can be more rewarding than they ever imagined.

"People have been succeeding at free love for many decades --- often quietly, without much fanfare. In this book, we will share the techniques, the skills, the ideals that have made it work for them.

"So who is an ethical slut? We are. Many, many others are. Maybe you are too. If you dream of freedom, if you dream of sex, if you dream of an abundance of friends and flirtation and consensual conquest, of following your desires and seeing where they take you, you've already taken the first step.

"What kind of person would revel in calling himself a slut? And why would he insist on being recognized for his ethics? In most of the world, "slut" is a highly offensive term, used to describe a woman whose sexuality is voracious, indiscriminate and shameful. It's interesting to note that the analogous word "stud", used to describe a highly sexual man, is often a term of approval and envy. If you ask about a man's morals, you will probably hear about his honesty, loyalty, integrity and high principles. When you ask about a woman's morals, you are more likely to hear about who she fucks and under what conditions. We have a problem with this.

"So we are proud to reclaim the word "slut" as a term of approval, even endearment. To us, a slut is a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you. A slut may choose to have sex with herself only, or with the Fifth Fleet. He may be heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual, a radical activist or a peaceful suburbanite.

"As proud sluts, we believe that sex and sexual love are fundamental forces for good --- activities with the potential to strengthen intimate bonds, enhance lives, create spiritual awareness, even change the world. And, furthermore, we believe that all consensual sexual choices have these potentials --- that any sexual pathway, consciously chosen and mindfully followed, can be a positive, creative force in the lives of individuals and their communities.

"A slut shares his sexuality the way a philanthropist shares her money --- because they have a lot of it to share, because it makes them happy to share it, because sharing makes the world a better place. Sluts often find that the more sex and love they give away, the more they have --- a loaves-and-fishes miracle in which greed and generosity go hand-in-hand to provide more for everybody. Imagine living in sexual abundance!"

Robert A. Heinlein, in the guise of Lazarus Long

The more you love, the more you can love -- and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.

The Polyamoury page

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